Disclaimer: Never touch a bat that looks sick or is not moving.

NOTE: Bats are a valuable species and are protected in many states. Colorado Pest Management does not advocate bat extermination. The events in this story occurred long before current awareness of bat conservation in Colorado.

You may have seen the Batman movies, or even read the Batman comic books, but Tom is the Real Batman.

Picture one of those functional, suburban apartment buildings, usually 4 stories, brick exterior, with interior hallways. They are often grouped with several similar buildings on a city block with a strip mall nearby. Nothing too exciting or glamorous, but they provide reasonably priced homes for families of all types and sizes.

On this particular day, Tom was called to take care of bats in one of these buildings. Yes, really! Bats were in the hallway of the fourth floor! Imagine the fear and loathing of having bats in your hallway!

When Tom arrived, he noticed about 35 people standing around the entrance doorway. As he drove up in his pest control truck, everyone was so relieved to see that help had finally arrived that a cheer arose from the crowd. The manager explained that the bats were dive-bombing people in the hallway, so he had to evacuate the entire fourth floor. People couldn’t even get into their homes after a hard day of work. In fact even some of the third floor residents were also gathered outside. Some people were crying and one woman was even screaming. Wow!

So Tom in his infinite, practical wisdom asked if anyone had a tennis racket. “Yes” a young woman cried out. “I live on the third floor and can get it without being attacked.” So off she went, and she soon returned with tennis racket in hand.

Tom had always been a pretty good shot, and had excellent hand-eye coordination. Forget the usual tools of the pest control trade, he was going to conquer the enemy with a tennis racket.

Very carefully he crept into the fourth floor hallway and began to look around. Whosh! The first bat swooped down on him. Whack! Tom batted it down with the racket. He landed such a fierce blow that the bat was definitely terminated. Out of the corner of his eye he saw another bat honing in on him. Whack! Again, Tom claimed victory. This minor skirmish between man and beast continued for about a half hour. Finally the attacks stopped coming. The bats were defeated and the battle was won.

Bats have sonar but they are not faster than a tennis racket. That’s a fact.

Once again, Tom to the rescue! With gloved hands he carefully placed the evidence into a trash bag and sealed it shut. One final look around and he knew that his job was done.

As he emerged from the building a loud cheer arose from the crowd. Everyone patted him on the back, cheered his victory, and wanted to buy Tom a beer and celebrate.

For information on bat removal from your property contact Colorado Pest Management at 303-706-9616.